All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
