I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
