when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
