Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize