What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
