I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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