My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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