i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
