Yo dont text me then not text me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
