Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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