How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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