everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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