just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
