I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
