margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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