I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize