God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
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She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
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I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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