All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
