i barfeds in our rink
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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