theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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