And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
