Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
