Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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