I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
