dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i will never coherently bang her
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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