I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
