You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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