That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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