her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
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He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
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We had sex on a dog bed..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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