you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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