Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
