Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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