LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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