Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
