I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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