So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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