Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize