How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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