she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
