There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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