Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
