Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
