Heybabeimwearingurpanties
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
