he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
