In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
