Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
