Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
