he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
