"it" just moved
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
