Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
