do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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