put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need to align my fucking chakras
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