He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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