This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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