If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Randomize
