I've blown a few things in my day
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
