so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
