are you so shy because you have an std?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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