At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize